The Window

It’s the same view I’ve had all my life

The same two houses across the street, the same trees, the same sky, and the same electrical wires

This window has been my view for my whole life.

This window is my view through happiness, sorrow, anger, confusion, and simply just when my mind has nothing to do but wander about

And of course, as I sit here writing this, I am accompanied by the familiar view

It’s comfort to me, but also my first step into uncharted territory as I let my mind wander things foreign to me

As a kid, I would sit here and listen to my portable CD player, singing out the window to the world

Today, I gaze out this window to let my mind wander rather than spend another minute studying

To my window, my safe haven…

Thanks for always accompanying me

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Little Differences

Little Differences are between us

But they can make a Big Difference

I’m a dog person, but you’re just into humans

I guess… “Who needs a dog anyway?”

I can push those childhood memories of Spike

to the back of my head and

Change the future visions of my own Spike…

I guess it’ll be more cozy and simpler, just me and you.

 

For a little girl, her wedding dreams start

From her very first glimpse of romance

I was no exception, I had grand expectations, yes, but

They weren’t unrealistic… I can settle for the simple,

nothing too grand, but let me have my basics.

You disagree, it’s all a hassle, just focus on us two

After all, we are the two stars of the day and

You just want to get the day done with.

 

I was lonely growing up as an only child

A big family was my dream, I always said “At least four”

You stop at two.

More kids means more headaches

Now that I think of it, yeah, maybe four is too much

College is expensive these days anyways, it’ll be for the best.

 

Little Differences…. ha. Yeah so little.

But not so insignificant. Little doesn’t actually mean little all the time.

Bottles & Explosions

It’s all in a bottle…until it no longer is

Until it is out there and infinite

 

I let it all get to me, I take it all in… one by one

I don’t let anything slip through my slim fingers

I grab on as if my life depends on it

Ironic…isn’t it? … killing me slowly

She yells at me, he pushes past me throwing me to the wall

I stress over that deadline and I stress over my stress

A deadly, never ending cycle

 

No more. It’s at the neck, we are bottle-necked now

One more push, pull, poke, or punch and I will blow

 

It’s all bottled up and I can no longer contain it

I let it out, the bottle shatters and it all blows up in my face

I’ve ruined it all, I should’ve handled this better.

It was not supposed to happen like this, I was going to let it drain out

Little by little

I just didn’t have time….time for myself and my mental health.

Every Morning.

If you’re anything like myself, you are someone who enjoys his or her sleep.

Well, I recently started a whole new graduate school program and it is INTENSE. I have officially started PA school, therefore, I’m head over heels in work and studying. I quit all my jobs so I could focus on school…

But every morning I wake up, and think the same thing. “I wish this was over”, “I just want to sleep more”, “Do I really need to get up?” “whyyyyy?!”

However, once I get up, make my coffee, sit in bed and read the news and get ready, I feel a little bit better. JOKES. I still would do just about anything to crawl right back into bed and drift away to dream land.

Once I park my car in the parking lot and begin walking (a pretty long walk), I seem to find myself doing the same thing each day. Without even realizing it. As I have my music playing in my headphones, I look up at the sky, whether its sunny, partly cloudy, or just gloomy. I look up and I thank God that I have made it through another night to another blessed day. I look up and tell myself I will make myself and all my loved ones proud of who I am.

I didn’t realize until today that this became a habit for me. I also didn’t realize that it made me look forward to my future, both immediate and long-term. I walked a little bit more confidently with my chin up.

Now the key is to have a killer playlist and to always face up. and SMILE!

Smile because you have made it through to another day, another day to better yourself and work towards something great, your accomplishments.

Best of luck, rockstars! 🙂

Xxo K.

Candid

Be natural.

Make sure I look oblivious to

Those incredibly high defined lens and

The sudden flash of light

It’s a candid picture.

Make sure it’s the right angle though,

Oh, and don’t forget to get the lighting right.

Is my smile weird? You know what,

Let’s try again.

Remember, it’s a candid pic

So make it look natural.

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I can dream

I can make a world

Endless for you and me

 

I can draw

The scene so vibrant and serene

I can write words that

flow around, within, and between

You and me

 

Sounds sprinkle butterflies

and lovely knots

deep within my stomach

 

I can dream a world

swelled with love and bliss

But. 

that is all that I can do.

It’s all a dream.

Save Time, Just Be Honest

So many things go on in everyone’s lives and things get messy. One thing I’ve learned in my recent years is that honesty is honestly annoying, but it ends up coming up anyway. Whether you’re lying for your own benefits or for someone else’s with a white lie or whether you’re pushing back the inevitable, horrid conversation for another time with lies…. just stop.

If you’re protecting someone with a white lie, you know that eventually the truth will come out. Does it really benefit the person to continue on with false hope only to be hurt later?

If you’re purposely lying to save your own ass, well same thing… in every scenerio the truth comes out, sooner or later.

Make it sooner. Save time, just be honest. It may hurt and it may be shitty, but in the end, you’ll be happy you did what you did, especially when you did it. Relationships can mend over time and time heals. So stop saving it for later, you’re only hurting yourself and those afflicted by the lie.