Good morning sunshines ! And by good morning I really mean too early morning because I’m stuck at work and it’s too early for me to deal with fast food. By the time I’m done writing, it’ll be way past morning with all these interruptions.
Anyway, moving on! So before I start discussing my title, I want to set up some background information. Both my parents come from big families, my dad is one out of seven children and my mom is one out of five girls. Somehow they gave birth to me, only me, guess they were sick of their big family. O.o But anyway, the way life went on, my parents and I got to realize how messed up my dad’s side of the family was and we distanced ourselves. My mother and I don’t really speak to anyone on that side, but my father does. And well they are his blood so we can’t say much against that.
But they’ve always treated my mom very badly and me, having witnessed that, I don’t particularly appreciate their presence.
This topic comes to mind today because it happens to be one of my cousins, on my dad’s side, birthday. And this cousin is about 8 years older than me, with his own family, so we don’t really talk much in the first place, but I never had a problem with him at all. So I did want to wish him a happy birthday….but clearly today being his birthday made me think about this whole situation our extended family is in. One uncle doesn’t talk to the other uncle while one aunt doesn’t talk to another and they often switch sides and pick new arguments each time. Family get togethers, now those can be death sentences in my family.
So my whole childhood, I was naive and always thought family over everything. Now I’m not saying that family shouldn’t be top priority or that it shouldn’t be over everything, but by family I mean more than just parents and siblings. And I also am writing this from my perspective and from my life experiences.
As I grew up, by the time I turned 16 I realized what was going on and I ended up turning my back on my family one by one as I saw the bad side of each member. I lost my relationship with my cousin who was the closest person to me. And as time went on, when things got rough and tough for me, my friends were always the ones there for me, encouraging me, and standing behind me giving me the push and help I needed.
So that’s where I started questioning the foundation I was built on, was blood always thicker than water ?
Growing up I saw how my friends and family friends were the ones who were always there for me, besides my parents of course. And another family whom I was neighbors with became my sisters and almost my second parents in a way.
Obviously this is the situation I’ve lived under, so not everyone applies to my situation, but I also realized how I don’t apply to everyone else’s situation. People always used to say family (including extended family) over everything, but I didn’t know what to think when my family was no longer supportive but more harmful to me.
Not gonna lie, I do have times where I think about or dream about some crazy completely coincidental family reunion of all my aunts, uncles, and cousins. And in this picture I’d be married with my own family and somehow they’d see me and I don’t know, somehow we all became a family again.
But reality doesn’t work that way, but who knows? Maybe I’ll have a crazy family reunion, may not play out the way it does in my dream, but hey it’s something isn’t it?
At the same time, I do realize how family does play a big role. Like how Thanksgiving is coming up, that’s the big family holiday. But I found myself in a different family, not fully my family but it’s somewhere I found myself every year for the major holidays.
Whatever it is, everything teaches you a lesson and you get something out of every experience.
And with that my break is about to be over so I’ll post again later tonight !
bye my lovelies